Trials

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Ouchie

As Travis detailed, February has indeed been a cruel month for many - it delivered me one final (I hope) blow yesterday (not for the squeamish: the damage - yes I know I'm being a wuss about it, but it still hurts like a mofo a day later!), but in a few hours it'll officially be done and gone.  That's not to say there weren't any high points, it was a bit of a roller coaster ride.  In any case, now that it's done, it feels as if it flew by and I'm already starting to carefully block the low points out of my memory. ;-)

This month certainly put me in a place of probably the highest responsibility I've been in career wise, and it was challenging, without a doubt.  This is horrible to admit, but a couple weeks into January, I had myself convinced in the matter of a few short weeks would be an utter failure (self confidence, it's a work in progress), the world would blow up, and I'd be laying in a pile of rubble.  By the time February arrived, I had resigned myself that whatever would be would be, and decided just to go with the flow...as much as a slightly control-freakish, anxiety battling, over-planner can go with the flow, that is.

I decided (rightly or not) that the only way I was going to survive was to ruthlessly prioritize what I spent my time doing.  This did allow for me to get done what needed to be done, but I sacrificed a lot of friend time, and looking back I think it would have done me well to maintain a bit more of that life balance in the mix.  I worked from home on the days I felt really run down, but spent as much time at the office as I could, as I felt it was important to keep in the loop and keep things running smoothly.

Last week was by far the most intense, and the return of my now good friend bronchitis nearly sent me over the edge.  But I stuck with my plan to just work as hard as I could, and most of all, try not to freak out, and miracle of miracles, the world did not come to an end.  In fact, although I did get incredibly frustrated a couple times, I never did really 'lose it' which I think is not an insignificant accomplishment.  Finally finding antibiotics that work well and don't make me really ill has helped a lot as well.

I think the biggest highlight was getting to know the developers I work with better.  I worked at the office a LOT more than usual, and definitely feel like we're more of a cohesive team.  It was a lot of fun, and I truly appreciate how great they are to work with, and also how supportive they all were.  All things said and done, I feel very...competent.  I wasn't really setting out to prove much to myself other than that I would survive, but I feel like I did a lot more than that.  I feel like I really surpassed what I believed I was capable of, and that is truly valuable.

And now, my reward is upon me: a week (mostly) off to nerd out to my heart's content (more to come)!

On a totally unrelated note, have you been to the new, and newly renovated Nuba?  It's quite lovely.

New Nuba