Like it was nothing

It's 4:39pm as I begin typing this, and I am home early today because I had a doctor's appointment this afternoon.  Remember how I said I was going through getting screened for stuff to figure out what's wrong with my body?

My appointment started out like most annoying doctor's appointments do: ridiculously expensive parking (7$/hour because it was next to a hospital), sitting around waiting and wasting time (one hour and five minutes), expecting that I was going to get an even more expensive parking ticket.  And then finally meeting the doctor for the consultation.

In case you don't know how a lot of these go when you have chronic health problems, more often than I would like, the doctor is condescending and doesn't listen to a word, only to say that stress can cause a lot of health problems.  And of course, when the reply is "Actually, I'm not really very stressed out these days...except because I feel like crap ALL THE TIME", the only response I've ever gotten is a smile, and a nod, and a "See how you're feeling in a few months".  That is what highly paid doctors who have gone through years of training say when they have no solutions to offer you.  When they know that you've been feeling like crap for years and that a couple months aren't going to make any kind of difference.

And this appointment started out very much the same way...then the doctor asked me about my stress levels, my exercise and sleeping habits, how I like my job.  He poked and prodded and the went out to tell his two office assistants to stop yelling at each other (okay, that was a new one).  He asked if I'd read much about the conditions he was screening me for--this is a trick question doctors use to see if you're a hypochondriac, by the way--but I am honest, so I said yes, I read the stuff that the ENT specialist gave me, that's why I thought I should be screened.

But this is where the appointment stopped going like so many other ones.

At this point, I can't really remember what he said other than that I should read the stuff on these websites and not let it change the way I was living, since there weren't any medications or anything that I could take.  I would just have to live with it, and hopefully it wouldn't get too much worse.  He didn't give me any advice on how to manage things, or want me to come back for another appointment (which is one of the main reasons I'm going to go ask for another referral to get a second opinion) because he said there's not much else than what I'm already doing to help.

And that was it.  Like everything was perfectly normal.  Like it was nothing.


I don't really know how to process this.