Life

As some of you know, I read and loved Brené Brown's Daring Greatly. I only just recently remembered to go back and listen to the last couple of podcasts the did for the chapter-by-chapter read-along she did on her website. You can still get to all of the read-along posts here (there's an audio file attached to each post - I'm not sure if they're accessible on iTunes anymore). Even if you haven't read the book, but especially if you have, these little audio/podcasts are about 20 mins each, and really add a lot to the discussion around the content of the book.

I really loved and got a lot out of a part from the Ch. 7 audio, so I transcribed some parts to share them with you, and bolded the biggest takeaways.

There's this thing I keep seeing on the internet, all over Instagram and peoples' blogs, and OMG YOU NEED IT!!!!!!!

At least, that's what you keep saying. It sounds like there is a gaping hole in your life that will be filled if only you can just obtain this magical object! "Where is that rug from??? I need it!!!" "I need that scarf!" "OMG I need those salt and pepper shakers." "I need one of those triangle rings!!!" "I totally need to get a pair of those shoes, I loveeeeeee them!"

People. Just stop it.

I know things are pretty or cool or trendy, and you want to express that. So please, search the depths of your vocabulary for another way to express your compliments and desires. It's really not that hard. 

No, really. You do not NEED any of this stuff. 

Does you or anyone you know A) drive and B) own a cell phone? If you answered yes, please watch this documentary short by Werner Herzog. Details here.

Since my creative energy started flowing again over the last several months, I've been frittering a lot of time away on various projects. Writing Chronically Yours, sewing, drawing, painting, working on my 365 project. That on top of the usual things I do these days: self care (sleep/eat/exercise as able; go to appointments/get tests/take supplements and medications), house stuff, garden maintenance; rest, rest, rest... I've been feeling a little all over the place. Not exactly what I was going for.

You got to push, got to shove
I've got to eat before they eat me
Got the crown and the cup
I've got to write to my family
And say, "I'm calm and feeling warm."
I'm not quite there, but I'm close
And it's a world of difference​

(Life on the Nickel, Foster the People)

Sometimes life is fine and dandy, and you can just let it flow. Just live. Just be. Other times, life smacks you upside the head and says WAKE THE FUCK UP. You realize that a lot of things are really wrong, and they have been for a looooong time. At this point you can either stick your head in the sand and maintain the status quo, or answer the wake up call. If you answer, you're signing up for hard work. If you don't answer, you're signing up for more of the same. Neither one is pleasant, but one at least holds the potential for things to get better.

I was surprised how much (mostly private) feedback I got about a couple of my recent writings on friends and on health.

Almost every email, comment, private message, etc. I got about these posts was some form of this (paraphrased): "Wow, thank you for writing about this, I have totally been struggling with this so much and it's a relief to know I am not alone and/or get some info or insight about it."

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The reason this surprised me is that even now, after having this sort of experience with previous posts, I still often feel like I really am pretty alone in dealing with these things. I feel like I'm really going out on a limb by writing about them publicly. But again and again, I get these responses from people... which begs the question: Why aren't we talking about this stuff? No, this isn't a rhetorical question, I really want to know why everyone's not talking about this, out in the open!

How to be friends. This is something that I thought I knew how to do. The last year upon the last five years has got me seriously doubting this... It turns out I most likely know nothing.

I recently got on the Lifeboat boat, they've been asking interesting questions and writing interesting stories about friendship. There's a lot packed into their Lifeboat Practices... there's some real gold in there. There are also some harsh truths they've unearthed, truths that make me realize at least I'm not alone in my struggles.

Bruno woke me out of a deep sleep last night around 1:30am saying, "Ariane... Ariane... What is that? What's that sound??" In my semi conscious state I started listening... to the sound of someone pacing back and forth upstairs! What?? What is going on?? We sat in bed frozen, listening... 

But something wasn't quite right - the pacing was really only along the very front edge of the room... and then I heard the familiar sound of nails. Like a dog skidding on linoleum. And then jumping and skidding some more. Quickly it made sense that this pacing was not happening inside the room upstairs but along the balcony that sits right along the edge of it, right above our bedroom. And that the pacer was likely not human. 

Of course, we were still pretty on edge, not being 100% sure what was going on up there... we tiptoed out of our room and up the stairs, inside it seemed safe. Outside, we couldn't see anything. But I could hear it. It sounded like a dog with long nails trying to get out. And of course, once we were able to get a good look...

Why I was awake at 2am last night

Happy spring everyone!

ps. Bruno is officially a Canadian permanent resident as of yesterday, hooray!

Back in September, I wrote about my plan for the fall. I was pretty jazzed about it. Yes, jazzed. But I never really told you about what happened, did I...

<3 Baaad Anna's

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