• From my twitter this morning: "intentions for the year to come: treat myself with the same kindness as i do those dearest to me. keep an open heart. laugh love breathe."

    (If I look a little squinty it's cause of the crazy strong winds trying to knock me over...)

  • I like marshmallows, let's just start with that. I had seen packages of gourmet marshmallows at Urban Fare, but I thought them much too indulgent a purchase and hadn't dared consider actually buying them... Until the day the fall Capers Community Fair was on a few weeks back. Butter Baked Goods, the makers of these marshmallows had a booth set up, and were selling their marshmallows for about 3/4 their usual price, and I decided it was time to give them a try. I scanned the flavours and narrowed it down to peppermint or pumpkin spice. I pointed at the pumpkin spice bag and asked the woman at the stand whether they had any dairy in them (I'm allergic), and you know what she did? She picked the bag up and handed it to me, and said, "Nope, no dairy, here have a bag!" I don't think she had any idea what a bad couple days I'd had or how much it cheered me up, but it was greatly appreciated, in one of those renewing-my-faith-in-humanity sort of ways...

    Gourmet marshmallows from Butter Baked Goods

  • What a freaking roller coaster the past few weeks have been. Work has been super intense, though much calmer this last week, but I'm still really happy with how everything's going. Scott is getting ready to leave town in a couple weeks, which is totally starting to freak me out a little! And going back to counseling has gotten me thinking about all sorts of things that I had shelved just to keep trucking along until I had the time and energy to deal with them. Fun, fun.

    voting is sexy

  • Last week I was a real stress case. Things in my life have kind of settled into ups and downs, and that's okay. I am trying to learn to be okay with ups and downs rather than let them make me feel disoriented and lose my footing.

    Work was kind of intense, but I'm enjoying it a lot, and hoping that things continue to go well with it as I learn how to do what is needed and become more comfortable with my role.

    I got to spend some time being arty midweek, which was nice.

    Most of the week I was feeling pretty anxious though, not about anything specific, just kind of everything. It took the better part of the weekend to shake it, but I'm feeling much better tonight after spending a lot of time vegging out Friday and Saturday. And today I spent some time reading at the beach in the beautiful October sunshine, and managed to catch up on boring things like laundry and dishes before the week starts.

  • First things first--I just got a bunch of film from the past 2 years developed (including from the Gastown/Chinatown all film photowalk from earlier in the summer). A few shots here, and if you want to see the rest of them check it out the set on Flickr.

    One of my favorites from the photowalk, and I'm not sure why

    Went out to Launch Party tonight for a little bit, but just really flaked out pretty quickly and decided to head home after saying hi to everyone. Last day on antibiotics, yay! Hopefully the dreaded sinus infection is gone for good, I don't think I can take any more of it!

  • Get yourself a cup of tea and tuck in, this is a long one...

    Where to begin.  This one's been cooking on the back burner for about six weeks.  Or maybe my whole life.  You think writing about my trials and tribulations with IBS or self-doubt are hard?  Well writing about my relationships with friends and family is so much harder.  When writing about health stuff, emotional stuff, I only really risk hurting myself.  When writing about relationships, I risk hurting other people.  And anyone who knows me knows that is the last thing I would want to do.

    I don't honestly know if I'll ever be brave enough to really write specifically about these sorts of things in such a public forum.  But I want to say things, because they've been occupying space in my thoughts and using up my energy, and I need to get them out of my head and out into the world.  I need to acknowledge them and then let them go, and hopefully find a way to move on.

  • 1. Taking it one day at a time.

    Amazing little moss ecosystem on the edge of the dock

    2. Simple things.

    Hope you're not colourblind

  • I haven't been finding it terribly easy to write lately. There is so much to say, but I just don't know where to start, and most of it is probably stuff I shouldn't be telling you about anyway. But my mind is occupied by the burden of these thoughts, and I need to find a way to confront them, conquer them, and move on.


    My body hurts. My stomach hurts, my brain hurts, most of all my heart fucking hurts. Life goes on.

    The last time I felt like this, I felt broken down in a different way. A tangible way. The heartbreaks and challenges were clear cut and easy to explain. But it's not like that this time. I don't know how to convey these heartbreaks and these fears so that they will mean something, so they'll make any sense.

  • I have a confession. I've developed a new little vice: I think I'm becoming a comic book nerd! I never really read a lot of comics growing up, other than the odd Archie comic, and though I knew graphic novels had been becoming more popular, I never really jumped on that bandwagon either. I read Persepolis, and really enjoyed it, but what really got me hooked is the comic book Proof.

    tasty comics

  • Just when I started getting excited about everything that was going on, life gave me one more hurdle to jump--I thought I was on the upswing from the flu that I caught a couple weeks ago, but then Thursday night when I walked to the Safeway, I realized something just wasn't right.  It's only six blocks or so, but by the time I got there I was exhausted and felt kind of like I had asthma, but it just wouldn't really go away.  I went into work the next morning, but was still having the same feeling, and knew I had no choice but go to the doctor's.  I headed over there on my lunch break, only to find out that I'd actually developed both a respiratory and sinus infection.  Fun!  I guess sometimes I shouldn't be so tough on myself thinking I'm a wuss for being tired and not getting better fast enough, sometimes it really IS just that I'm not better yet!

    So the doctor prescribed me some antibiotics and I called work telling them I wasn't going to make it back in, and headed over to the pharmacy.  Friends will know how much of a fan of swallowing pills I am, so I was not to thrilled to begin with, but sucked it up and choked down the first dose.  The pamphlet about the antibiotics warned that it tended to irritate people's stomachs, but the pharmacist had said that there weren't really many options, so I just toughed out the bit of discomfort.

    Awesome inhaler and evil, evil pills.


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