• Last week I was a real stress case. Things in my life have kind of settled into ups and downs, and that's okay. I am trying to learn to be okay with ups and downs rather than let them make me feel disoriented and lose my footing.

    Work was kind of intense, but I'm enjoying it a lot, and hoping that things continue to go well with it as I learn how to do what is needed and become more comfortable with my role.

    I got to spend some time being arty midweek, which was nice.

    Most of the week I was feeling pretty anxious though, not about anything specific, just kind of everything. It took the better part of the weekend to shake it, but I'm feeling much better tonight after spending a lot of time vegging out Friday and Saturday. And today I spent some time reading at the beach in the beautiful October sunshine, and managed to catch up on boring things like laundry and dishes before the week starts.

  • First things first--I just got a bunch of film from the past 2 years developed (including from the Gastown/Chinatown all film photowalk from earlier in the summer). A few shots here, and if you want to see the rest of them check it out the set on Flickr.

    One of my favorites from the photowalk, and I'm not sure why

    Went out to Launch Party tonight for a little bit, but just really flaked out pretty quickly and decided to head home after saying hi to everyone. Last day on antibiotics, yay! Hopefully the dreaded sinus infection is gone for good, I don't think I can take any more of it!

  • Get yourself a cup of tea and tuck in, this is a long one...

    Where to begin.  This one's been cooking on the back burner for about six weeks.  Or maybe my whole life.  You think writing about my trials and tribulations with IBS or self-doubt are hard?  Well writing about my relationships with friends and family is so much harder.  When writing about health stuff, emotional stuff, I only really risk hurting myself.  When writing about relationships, I risk hurting other people.  And anyone who knows me knows that is the last thing I would want to do.

    I don't honestly know if I'll ever be brave enough to really write specifically about these sorts of things in such a public forum.  But I want to say things, because they've been occupying space in my thoughts and using up my energy, and I need to get them out of my head and out into the world.  I need to acknowledge them and then let them go, and hopefully find a way to move on.

  • 1. Taking it one day at a time.

    Amazing little moss ecosystem on the edge of the dock

    2. Simple things.

    Hope you're not colourblind

  • I haven't been finding it terribly easy to write lately. There is so much to say, but I just don't know where to start, and most of it is probably stuff I shouldn't be telling you about anyway. But my mind is occupied by the burden of these thoughts, and I need to find a way to confront them, conquer them, and move on.

    IMG_2225.JPG

    My body hurts. My stomach hurts, my brain hurts, most of all my heart fucking hurts. Life goes on.

    The last time I felt like this, I felt broken down in a different way. A tangible way. The heartbreaks and challenges were clear cut and easy to explain. But it's not like that this time. I don't know how to convey these heartbreaks and these fears so that they will mean something, so they'll make any sense.

  • I have a confession. I've developed a new little vice: I think I'm becoming a comic book nerd! I never really read a lot of comics growing up, other than the odd Archie comic, and though I knew graphic novels had been becoming more popular, I never really jumped on that bandwagon either. I read Persepolis, and really enjoyed it, but what really got me hooked is the comic book Proof.

    tasty comics

  • Just when I started getting excited about everything that was going on, life gave me one more hurdle to jump--I thought I was on the upswing from the flu that I caught a couple weeks ago, but then Thursday night when I walked to the Safeway, I realized something just wasn't right.  It's only six blocks or so, but by the time I got there I was exhausted and felt kind of like I had asthma, but it just wouldn't really go away.  I went into work the next morning, but was still having the same feeling, and knew I had no choice but go to the doctor's.  I headed over there on my lunch break, only to find out that I'd actually developed both a respiratory and sinus infection.  Fun!  I guess sometimes I shouldn't be so tough on myself thinking I'm a wuss for being tired and not getting better fast enough, sometimes it really IS just that I'm not better yet!

    So the doctor prescribed me some antibiotics and I called work telling them I wasn't going to make it back in, and headed over to the pharmacy.  Friends will know how much of a fan of swallowing pills I am, so I was not to thrilled to begin with, but sucked it up and choked down the first dose.  The pamphlet about the antibiotics warned that it tended to irritate people's stomachs, but the pharmacist had said that there weren't really many options, so I just toughed out the bit of discomfort.

    Awesome inhaler and evil, evil pills.

  • Between taking a vacation, getting the flu (halfway through my vacation, which carried on through well over a week), and finally the power outage that has been going on in Downtown Vancouver for 2 days now (and not expected to be fixed until at least tomorrow night, possibly Thursday morning) giving many of us an unexpected couple of days (almost--still have to keep an eye on things) off or at least working from home, I have been doing some extended thinking about where I want things to go with my life.

  • I would just like to say how totally unimpressed I am about being sick right now. I've been sick since Thursday, after 2 days of having a fever and being achy all over and snotting all over the place. Now my fever is gone, but my throat hurts, and I'm all stuffy and coughing. And I just all of a sudden got a rash all over my tummy, its origins totally mysterious to me. WTF. Seriously, adding insult to injury. And this was supposed to be my vacation week! This is me NOT IMPRESSED.

    Unimpressed - at spending the latter part of my vacation laid out with the flu

    Big thanks to everyone who's checked up on me and brought me supplies over the last few days, I love you guys.

  • I started hunting for a new bike a couple months ago I went to a bunch of shops around town over the course of a few days and test drove a whole bunch of different styles of bikes to see if the style I thoughtI wanted, a cruiser, actually felt like it was going to fit my needs. I arbitrarily decided to start with the furthest shops out and work my way towards my neighbourhood, and I found a few that were okay, but wasn't really falling in love with anything. Plus, a lot of the shops were either so busy I could hardly get anyone to hook me up with a test drive, or the sales people would peddle bikes to me in a really insincere way, obviously just trying to make a sale as quickly as possible.

    I pressed on, and finally ended up at the Denman Bike Shop, which is right in my neighbourhood, only to find that it was where I really should've started my hunt! They specialize in cruisers (though they do sell other styles as well), and have a great selection of bikes ranging from the practical to totally decked out one-speeds for leisurely riding and lots of attention. They have a huge selection of Electra bikes, who make a couple of the models I wanted to test out, which is how I ended up spending a good chunk of my afternoon there trying out bikes.

    Denman Bike Shop

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