• So first, a little catch up from before my last posts... back in June, I went to Saskatoon for a weekend to go to the wedding of one of my next door neighbours from where I grew up. The Sulatyski family lived next door to me my entire Saskatoon-life (plus a couple years after I moved to Vancouver), and are like my second family... sometimes I feel like I grew up more Ukrainian than any other culture!

    Me and the boys

  • I've been thinking a lot lately about the idea of trust. I've been thinking mainly about people closer to me. I used to be a lot more trusting. And then the summer before last, some things happened that really wrecked my faith in people. I wasn't sure I would get to a place where I trusted people again. I guess I've become aware that it's a real personal choice to trust someone, and that my trust doesn't necessarily equate to any commitment or reciprocation on the other person's part. As odd as it sounds, I've realized I have to trust largely for my own reasons, sort of in a selfish way, and try and be comfortable with the idea that I probably will have my trust broken again, but that next time it won't shatter my world so harshly.

  • Big decisions are still a struggle for me. I've become a competent and fairly confident decision maker in my work life. But decisions to do with my personal life have long been something I have had a difficult time with.

    When I was growing up, I was often told that I was making bad or risky decisions. My young mind did not yet know to interpret this as a mere opinion, and set to agonizing over every decision large or small. I spent most of my life doubting my instincts and experiences as being reliable in guiding my judgement. It was only when I was in grad school, having anxiety attacks, and feeling pretty miserable about life that I first went to counseling, and through it found some perspective on this.

  • Last week I took a week off work for a little vacation. I spent the first weekend largely hanging out in East Van and catching up with Angie and Marci who just moved to the coast, and walking around on the Drive a bit during Italian Days. 

    I hadn't made any terribly concrete plans about what I was going to do for the rest of the week, but had been feeling very deprived of road trips lately. I'm not a huge fan of driving distances by myself, so I settled on hopping on the train down to Seattle for a few days. It'd been about 12 years since I'd last taken the train (on the east coast), so I didn't completely know what to expect.

    Amtrak Cascades

  • The Backstory

    (Note: Some of this first half will be redundant if you're a regular reader.) Somewhere in the midst of being cooped up at home sick for weeks on end this spring, something in me clicked. I stopped caring about not being able to do it all. I don't know if it's so much giving in, or self preservation, or just not needing to beat myself up for things I can't change. Maybe it was survival instinct, or maybe it was being forced to accept the reality of my energy and wellness levels. I'm sure a question my counselor asked me a while back got this all circulating in the back of my mind: "What would happen if you didn't do everything that you want, what then?" My answer at the time: "I feel like if I had to give up doing all these things, that I would cease to exist."

  • Sad but true, my favourite comic book store in town, Elfsar, (who I first blogged about almost 2 years ago) is closing tomorrow. As you can read in the blog post, their rent got hiked over 250%, and that was that. They've got a big sale on, so if you're in town this weekend, show your support, get some cheap books, and bid your farewells.

  • Before we get started, here's some new LCD Soundsystem for your listening enjoyment...

    Much of my thoughts go like an agile retrospective these days... project management is permeating my thinking patterns.

    Good

  • As each challenge in life appears and is confronted, we find ourselves on the other side of it, having either lost or been victorious. Lessons learned, bridges burned, badges earned... We recalibrate, set our compass to a new bearing, and keep moving on to whatever is next. In life and love, I hope and believe that each time we face a challenge, regardless of outcome, if we pay attention and respect the lessons offered, we come out stronger and more in tune with what we need and deserve in the long run.

    This is one of my absolute favourite poems, I got it from a gumball machine in Seattle almost 4 years ago.

    They are in a dark plum thicket
    and she is too far above the ground,
    can feel the lift and fall of walking
    but is not walking. Beneath her
    are the shoulders of a boy
    who is willing to carry her for years

  • What's that? Oh yes, that is the smell of sweet, sweet VICTORY!!! 

    Photo Booth

    And just like that it's over. It's a small miracle that I actually made it to San Francisco for DrupalCon SF.  As I mentioned before, I caught the flu just over a week and a half before I was supposed to leave for the conference, and was SOOOOO sick. I got a fever, then the worst cough I think I've had since I was a kid.  My mom saved my ass and came out and stayed with me for a week, I hardly left my bed the entire time. She went back to Saskatoon about three days before I was supposed to leave for SF, but I was still pretty sick, and was about 5 days into a week of having lost my voice. Making the con did NOT look promising.

  • 2010-03-09 16.11.30

    Dear Life: CUT ME A FUCKING BREAK. SRSLY.

    The last 10 days have played out as such:

    My stomach had semi stabilized for a couple weeks or so after six weeks of massive IBS flareup (a couple of which I was pretty well incapacitated) after getting a stomach virus in early February. When Easter long weekend rolled around (a week ago) and I was itching to get out of my apartment, and out of the city, the only last minute weekend accomplices that were available were a good friend (Amye) and cousin (Colleen) down in Oregon. So I said heck, and booked a next day flight down and a hotel room for my cousin and I, feeling strong enough for at least a weekend of lounging around with some of my favourite people.

Pages

Subscribe to Front page feed