Goodbye 2013

Goodbye 2013. 

You rivaled 2012 for how shitty I often felt, both physically and emotionally. But I also had some reprieves and glimmers of hope, showing me that change may be slow, but it's still possible. 

You were at once one of the hardest and most important years of my life. I'm tempted to say "good riddance", but that wouldn't be quite right...instead I'll say thank you.

Thank you... for bringing me deep loss that helped me shed the conditioning I'd built up over the course of my life.

Thank you... for bringing me many teachers in many different forms, and for allowing me to be open enough to receive their lessons.

Thank you... for bringing me the strength to say no to people who try to dump their pain and sadness on me, and the wisdom to be able to see it for what it is.

Thank you... for forcing me to just BE and not DO for long enough actually to break habitual ways of being and doing that no longer work.

Thank you... for allowing me the wherewithal to stop feeling responsible for everyone's happiness and wellbeing, except my own. 

Thank you... for helping me get out of denial about so many things. Acknowledging truths that aren't pretty or ideal helped me realize I need to take charge of my life and my decisions, if I'm ever going to live the life I truly desire.

Thank you... for helping me get over the hump of creative paralysis, and bringing a renewed energy to my artistic endeavours.

Thank you... for the continued love and support of a wonderful partner, and a few dear ones sprinkled around the world.

Thank you... for helping me see myself with kindness and compassion.

Thank you... for birds and dogs and books and tea and snow and a cozy home.

Thank you... for the resources and skills to learn to sew my own clothes.

Thank you... for another chance to begin again.

BB Day 27