Last week I was a real stress case. Things in my life have kind of settled into ups and downs, and that's okay. I am trying to learn to be okay with ups and downs rather than let them make me feel disoriented and lose my footing.
Work was kind of intense, but I'm enjoying it a lot, and hoping that things continue to go well with it as I learn how to do what is needed and become more comfortable with my role.
I got to spend some time being arty midweek, which was nice.
Most of the week I was feeling pretty anxious though, not about anything specific, just kind of everything. It took the better part of the weekend to shake it, but I'm feeling much better tonight after spending a lot of time vegging out Friday and Saturday. And today I spent some time reading at the beach in the beautiful October sunshine, and managed to catch up on boring things like laundry and dishes before the week starts.
I also went on a somewhat spontaneous trip with a friend to see the new show of feminist art, WACK! at the VAG this afternoon. Some of the stuff was kind of weird, of course, but there were also some cool and interesting things, including a few diaries or written pieces I might go back and spend some time reading later on. I love having a pass so I can just pop in there whenever and look at bits of shows and not have to see it all at once. Some of the best money ($60) I spend each year.
I'm trying really hard to get back to some sense of normalcy now that fall is here. Getting back to work helps, though I still need to develop a bit more of a routine. I have my second appointment with the new counselor I started seeing this week. The last time I went to counseling was about five or so years ago when I was in university. I kind of realized I had stopped handling stress so well, and that I needed a little kick in the ass to work through the things that have been going on, and I am so glad that I made the appointment when I did, it was well timed. It just really helps to get a neutral perspective on matters, and get some support with how to deal with everything better.
Hopefully the ups and downs, even if I'm comfortable with them, will start to get a little less extreme and a little less intense. That would be nice. But I think things are on the right path again. More and more, I find myself feeling calmer. It's as if I've rediscovered an old friend I'd lost touch with. Like things in my world are functioning a little more smoothly.
We must risk unlearning all those things that have kept us alive for so long. - Ann Newmarch (Courtesy of WACK!)