Random blather

I don't write too much about dating on here, because lets face it, Vancouver is a small city and everyone knows everyone, and that could just get awkward.  But this is a pretty meta post, so I'm just gonna go for it.

I am done with "dating".

There, I said it.  I've been single for the most part for the last 2.5 years, and at this point I've had my fair share of awkward first dates, and awkward few week to few month long "relationships."  Granted, probably the first 1.5 years of that was that sort of messed up dating where I was still working through everything from the previous relationship and finding myself again.  But the last year and a bit, I have really been in a frame of mind where if I met someone who was also in that place, and we hit it off I could actually see myself being ready for it.

No, not my doorbell and when you're gonna ring it.  I've been thinking about forgiveness.  I've been told that I forgive people too easily.  Usually it's not really framed as a compliment, but more surprise or questioned.  And it's true, I do forgive people easily...especially for the smaller offenses. Especially if they acknowledge in some way that they realize they did something stupid.  This can be anything from a sheepish tone to actually saying sorry.  As long as I feel like it's sincere, that's all it takes.  Often the offense is the symptom of a much deeper problem on their side anyway, and they have to live with whatever that is every day.

I forgive you for what you did to me, but how can I forgive you for what you did to yourself?
- Friedrich Nietzsche 

Hi there.

goofyface has new helmet

I guess I haven't been writing much this summer.  I just haven't had a whole lot to say to be honest!

The summer has been going by quickly.  Failbody, now renamed IRONBODY (RAWWWWWWWWR!!!!!!) thanks to Tylor, has continued to have a rollercoaster year, but I'm troopering on.  Not much for travel plans this summer, I've just been chilling out and working.

Been riding my bike a little.  Been shooting film a little.  Been Drupalling more than a little.  Yesterday was one of the funnest days in a while, spent lazing on the grass with good people.  There's been a lot of lazing this summer, possibly one of my fondest hobbies of late.

Untitled

I am sad today.

Most times when I feel sad, I try and do something that will cheer me up.  Get out, go for a bike ride, phone someone I love, buy a new book, eat some chocolate... you know, standard things.  But I have done a lot already this weekend, in fact the most I have in about a month and a half, and I don't feel like doing much more. So instead I'm just going to feel how I feel and read my book and maybe some Dwell magazine, and look at my pretty dahlias, and eat raspberry cake, and be okay with these things not cheering me up.

Some of you have met my my mean green cruising machine (which really needs a name - suggestions?)  But tonight I got reacquainted with my first bike love:

they call her red

Before the red bike, I had a super cheapo heavy bike that I got at Canadian tire when I was about 12 years old.  I had my parents ship this bike to me on Greyhound a while after I moved off of Burnaby Mountain down into North Burnaby for the second time (sometime around 2002 I believe), thinking I could ride it around the 'hood a bit.  I hadn't fully realized what a prairie bike it was - it weighed a ton and was only good on super flat roads.

You know life ain't half bad when...

it's this nice out today

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I went to LA last weekend to visit my cousins (this being the rescheduled trip from Christmas). The timing was actually perfect - one of my cousins just had his first kid a few weeks prior, and another is going to be moving to Oregon in a couple months (which is actually great, cause it's closer to me!)  I had such a nice visit with them, and just felt really happy and relaxed there.  Better than I'd felt in a long time. (Photos from LA)

A bunch of things have inspired me and lifted my spirit this past week, so I wanted to share:

An awesome A Softer World ... this one's pretty great too (remember to read the hover text!)

An awesome photo/paste-up by Basco5 (don't look if you're scared of barfing)

An awesome video by Oren Lavie (just watch it, it's amazing)

Ridiculously awesome beatboxing and flute-beatboxing (c/o @adrian_ng)

More random goodness:

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The weekend started off pleasantly, with dinner with a friend (from university) who's down here visiting for a week and a half.  We went out to Central on Denman, which I always forget is actually a pretty great place.  Not to mention, they were playing awesome music: MIA, old Erykah Badu, and local boys, DNA6 (whose cd I bought when I saw them play the Capers fair last year, and it's become one of my favorites, and turns out that they're friends of my boss, small world).  Great evening catching up.

veins

Last week I was asked if I felt I was being myself wholeheartedly.

I had to answer no, because I am often filled with doubt and hesitation, but this is something that goes against the sort of person I want to be.  I want to live wholeheartedly, to take chances, to have faith in people, and in my future.  But how does wholeheartedness manifest in real-life practical terms?

whole·heart·ed, adjective, 1836

  1. completely and sincerely devoted, determined, or enthusiastic
  2. marked by complete earnest commitment, free from all reserve or hesitation

[Merriam-Webster]

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