IBS

The day has finally arrived... 

Issue 2 of Chronically Yours is finished and for sale!

It's taken me a whole year to get this issue done... I've been kind of preoccupied, ironically, dealing with my health and wellbeing! Slowly, but surely, I've been working away at it, and after a little stapling party, it's done!

This building is part of VGH, you wouldn't know how pretty it is from the outside. Sitting there, it was hard not to notice I was the youngest person for miles around who didn't actually work there. I was there to get a second opinion on my laryngeal granuloma.

Waiting for an appointment at VGH

[EDIT: I've posted a follow up to this here.]

[EDIT: there is now a second update here.]

[EDIT: I've just posted a final update on my LPR adventures. I'm going to lock the comments on this and the other LPR posts now, as I really want people to use the LPR Facebook Group instead of posting here (or emailing me) - you'll get much better responses and support there! ]

And now time for some health catch up...

Ok, so I keep hearing people talking about "ease" and moving towards doing what comes with more "ease". The work I was doing before was mostly things that I felt came pretty naturally to me (being organized, mediating between different stakeholders, writing emails, planning), but work didn't feel full of "ease" by any means.

Socializing didn't feel easy. Taking care of myself didn't feel easy. Even when I left my job in the spring, NOTHING felt easy.

Resting didn't feel easy, thinking about what I wanted to do with my life didn't feel easy, I felt fucking stressed and anxious all the time, in between trips and visitors all through the summer. I tried to go take art classes, and that all fell apart quickly. I did creative projects at home. I floundered. And then a couple weeks ago, it suddenly hit me. 

I'm embarking on a health pilgrimmage. More on this later...maybe. I've also been working on my first zine, Chronically Yours, about living with chronic illness, so I've been doing a lot of reading and research about coping and support for chronic illnesses and chronic pain. I've found some really wonderful resources and readings, and some of them deserve full posts but for now I wanted to take a moment to share some of my favourites with you.

R&R: Reading and relaxation

#8 on my Life to-do list: Make a zine. Check!

Chronically Yours 1

You heard me right. After wanting to make a zine since my teen years, and never getting up the guts to fully write and publish one, I've done it!

Issue #1 of Chronically Yours is up for sale in my new Etsy shop as of this morning!

 I had so many favourite moments the week before last at DrupalCon Chicago, I started jotting down a list so I wouldn't forget them all. Here are some highlights...

Freezing! (crazyhair c/o Chicago wind)

The Backstory

(Note: Some of this first half will be redundant if you're a regular reader.) Somewhere in the midst of being cooped up at home sick for weeks on end this spring, something in me clicked. I stopped caring about not being able to do it all. I don't know if it's so much giving in, or self preservation, or just not needing to beat myself up for things I can't change. Maybe it was survival instinct, or maybe it was being forced to accept the reality of my energy and wellness levels. I'm sure a question my counselor asked me a while back got this all circulating in the back of my mind: "What would happen if you didn't do everything that you want, what then?" My answer at the time: "I feel like if I had to give up doing all these things, that I would cease to exist."

Before we get started, here's some new LCD Soundsystem for your listening enjoyment...

Much of my thoughts go like an agile retrospective these days... project management is permeating my thinking patterns.

Good

Yesterday, I was here:

quartet rehearsing dvorak (view of bowen)

It was lovely. LOVELY. That wasn't the only reason it was a good day though. It was the first day in about 6 weeks that I felt somewhat "normal" (ie. not so exhausted I can't really go out and do anything). I'm not sure exactly what did it, but after a giant sleep and a little dietary tinkering toward the end of the week, all of a sudden, something shifted.

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