Last week I was a real stress case. Things in my life have kind of settled into ups and downs, and that's okay. I am trying to learn to be okay with ups and downs rather than let them make me feel disoriented and lose my footing.

Work was kind of intense, but I'm enjoying it a lot, and hoping that things continue to go well with it as I learn how to do what is needed and become more comfortable with my role.

I got to spend some time being arty midweek, which was nice.

Most of the week I was feeling pretty anxious though, not about anything specific, just kind of everything. It took the better part of the weekend to shake it, but I'm feeling much better tonight after spending a lot of time vegging out Friday and Saturday. And today I spent some time reading at the beach in the beautiful October sunshine, and managed to catch up on boring things like laundry and dishes before the week starts.

It is an ongoing challenge figuring out how to deal with my body's antics in various situations...  I don't know if and when I will ever be able to get it to catch up with my brain (that is when my brain is co-operating...).  Change and stress, whether good or bad, seem to impact my stomach very similarly, which is intensely annoying!  I still get the same adrenaline, nervousness, and anxiety over things that are really exciting and things that are really terrible, which can make any kind of change, no matter how good, a bit stressful.

It's so frustrating!  Why can't good things just be good?!  ARG!!!  Maybe someday I'll get it all figured out.  Until then, focusing on the positive and taking the negative one step at a time.

Yesterday was okay, today was a little worse, I have high hopes for tomorrow, and am planning to actually *gasp* DO things.  Mainly, go for a massage because I'm all sore from sitting around and not doing much for THREE WEEKS (*rolls eyes*), and if I have energy later on, I hope to try and stop by the Drupal BBQ, though I'm not sure how long I'll last...

The last list sucked, so without further ado:

  1. The phlegm seems to be going away.
  2. I have the time to work on getting healthy again.
  3. Even though it doesn't really feel like it right now, I know deep down things will get better.

Just when I started getting excited about everything that was going on, life gave me one more hurdle to jump--I thought I was on the upswing from the flu that I caught a couple weeks ago, but then Thursday night when I walked to the Safeway, I realized something just wasn't right.  It's only six blocks or so, but by the time I got there I was exhausted and felt kind of like I had asthma, but it just wouldn't really go away.  I went into work the next morning, but was still having the same feeling, and knew I had no choice but go to the doctor's.  I headed over there on my lunch break, only to find out that I'd actually developed both a respiratory and sinus infection.  Fun!  I guess sometimes I shouldn't be so tough on myself thinking I'm a wuss for being tired and not getting better fast enough, sometimes it really IS just that I'm not better yet!

Between taking a vacation, getting the flu (halfway through my vacation, which carried on through well over a week), and finally the power outage that has been going on in Downtown Vancouver for 2 days now (and not expected to be fixed until at least tomorrow night, possibly Thursday morning) giving many of us an unexpected couple of days (almost--still have to keep an eye on things) off or at least working from home, I have been doing some extended thinking about where I want things to go with my life.

I would just like to say how totally unimpressed I am about being sick right now. I've been sick since Thursday, after 2 days of having a fever and being achy all over and snotting all over the place. Now my fever is gone, but my throat hurts, and I'm all stuffy and coughing. And I just all of a sudden got a rash all over my tummy, its origins totally mysterious to me. WTF. Seriously, adding insult to injury. And this was supposed to be my vacation week! This is me NOT IMPRESSED.

Unimpressed - at spending the latter part of my vacation laid out with the flu

Big thanks to everyone who's checked up on me and brought me supplies over the last few days, I love you guys.

Well, after being a little tough on Steven on the weekend, when he had a really runny nose and thought he was sick, apparently karma has come back to haunt me. What I thought were just really bad allergies to the ick in the air seems to have turned into a little summer cold. (Update - now at bedtime, full on sick, achy, chills, terribleness...BOOOO.) Luckily, he got over it in a couple days, and I'm hoping for the same for me. But for now, it's making me a little cranky, and so, methinks it be time for a list of happy things.


I think I'm going to try and post happy things whenever I feel crappy, to help cheer myself up.

Go go synchronicity!

  1. Skipping last weekend was fun (see above).
  2. I got my hair cut (see below).
  3. Martin was nice and let me whine to him about feeling crappy, which made me feel better.
  4. Went to quirky little solstice performance at the beach tonight.
  5. Tomorrow is a new day.

win of the day: haircut

I've got a mental list of things that I've been meaning to blog about, and now that I've got a few quiet moments to myself sitting in front ofthe gas fireplace in the hotel lobby (oh, how I miss having a fireplace...) I am attempting to collect my thoughts a bit. The last couple weeks have been incredibly busy, between Northern Voice, Boston, and a bazillion appointments, on top of being really sick last week, I still haven't quite had the time to process everything. 

Me if I had been a med student?


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