Friends

Lots of things to catch up on...

BarCamp Vancouver 2009

BarCamp was this weekend - I was so-so on it last year, it was still fun, but not many sessions really did it for me, so I came in with relatively low expectations, thinking that maybe I'd just been to too many Camps and Cons now for them to still inspire and interest me...  I am happy to report that I actually had a superb time, and am not too old and jaded to enjoy these events. :-)  The organizers did a great job (thanks a bunch, you are all awesome) and everything went off flawlessly.  Enjoyed the sessions I went to, and there were many more I wish I could have made it to (most sessions are listed here, some have notes/slides).

A bunch of things have inspired me and lifted my spirit this past week, so I wanted to share:

An awesome A Softer World ... this one's pretty great too (remember to read the hover text!)

An awesome photo/paste-up by Basco5 (don't look if you're scared of barfing)

An awesome video by Oren Lavie (just watch it, it's amazing)

Ridiculously awesome beatboxing and flute-beatboxing (c/o @adrian_ng)

More random goodness:

(Written yesterday) I'm somewhere over western Alberta right now, on my way back home after spending a week in Washington DC for my second Drupalcon.  Just finished listening to DaveO's latest Postcards from Gravelley Beach, and an episode of White Coat, Black Art, and am onto some Radio 3 now.  Steve M. and (the other) Boris from 80Elements (who we share office space with) are on my flight too - we parted ways with Steve K and Katherine in Toronto, as they had a slightly later flight out than us.  It's fun traveling with people.  It's actually really fun traveling with people who are acquaintances, it only takes a few days for an acquaintance to turn into a new friend.

The conference itself was really great.  Different than last year, when I knew fewer people, and when everything seemed a lot more intense.  Intense because it was more new, but also because I was more of a stress case then.  This year I felt a lot more relaxed.

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Or at least that's the idea, to find balance and ride the wave rather than fight the current.

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The next five weeks are going to be intense, so I am focusing on strength, calm, and perseverance to get through it.  My boss is going to be away for a month, and there is a lot going on at work.  I have been entrusted with keeping the ship afloat while he's gone, which is a big responsibility.  Then the same day he gets back, I head out to DrupalCon.

Friday, December 19th - lovely dusting of snow, viewed through the window of AB headquarters.  Finished off and had a great evening with friends, then spent Saturday and Sunday running around prepping to leave for LA, where I was heading to spend Christmas with my cousins.

A nice dusting of snow

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It's supposed to go down to -19C with the wind chill tonight.  Totally unheard of.  Everyone is complaining about the cold like crazy, and yet I'm pretty sure a lot of people are really enjoying it (myself included).  Maybe it's the lack of rain, but people seem pretty cheery.

MORE SNOW!!!

Of course for a lot of people who aren't as lucky as us, it's very, very tough dealing with this kind of weather.  I feel even luckier that usual just to have my warm, dry apartment and a nice bed to sleep in.

MORE SNOW!!!

First things first--I just got a bunch of film from the past 2 years developed (including from the Gastown/Chinatown all film photowalk from earlier in the summer). A few shots here, and if you want to see the rest of them check it out the set on Flickr.

One of my favorites from the photowalk, and I'm not sure why

Went out to Launch Party tonight for a little bit, but just really flaked out pretty quickly and decided to head home after saying hi to everyone. Last day on antibiotics, yay! Hopefully the dreaded sinus infection is gone for good, I don't think I can take any more of it!

Get yourself a cup of tea and tuck in, this is a long one...

Where to begin.  This one's been cooking on the back burner for about six weeks.  Or maybe my whole life.  You think writing about my trials and tribulations with IBS or self-doubt are hard?  Well writing about my relationships with friends and family is so much harder.  When writing about health stuff, emotional stuff, I only really risk hurting myself.  When writing about relationships, I risk hurting other people.  And anyone who knows me knows that is the last thing I would want to do.

I don't honestly know if I'll ever be brave enough to really write specifically about these sorts of things in such a public forum.  But I want to say things, because they've been occupying space in my thoughts and using up my energy, and I need to get them out of my head and out into the world.  I need to acknowledge them and then let them go, and hopefully find a way to move on.

I haven't been finding it terribly easy to write lately. There is so much to say, but I just don't know where to start, and most of it is probably stuff I shouldn't be telling you about anyway. But my mind is occupied by the burden of these thoughts, and I need to find a way to confront them, conquer them, and move on.

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My body hurts. My stomach hurts, my brain hurts, most of all my heart fucking hurts. Life goes on.

The last time I felt like this, I felt broken down in a different way. A tangible way. The heartbreaks and challenges were clear cut and easy to explain. But it's not like that this time. I don't know how to convey these heartbreaks and these fears so that they will mean something, so they'll make any sense.

Just when I started getting excited about everything that was going on, life gave me one more hurdle to jump--I thought I was on the upswing from the flu that I caught a couple weeks ago, but then Thursday night when I walked to the Safeway, I realized something just wasn't right.  It's only six blocks or so, but by the time I got there I was exhausted and felt kind of like I had asthma, but it just wouldn't really go away.  I went into work the next morning, but was still having the same feeling, and knew I had no choice but go to the doctor's.  I headed over there on my lunch break, only to find out that I'd actually developed both a respiratory and sinus infection.  Fun!  I guess sometimes I shouldn't be so tough on myself thinking I'm a wuss for being tired and not getting better fast enough, sometimes it really IS just that I'm not better yet!

So the doctor prescribed me some antibiotics and I called work telling them I wasn't going to make it back in, and headed over to the pharmacy.  Friends will know how much of a fan of swallowing pills I am, so I was not to thrilled to begin with, but sucked it up and choked down the first dose.  The pamphlet about the antibiotics warned that it tended to irritate people's stomachs, but the pharmacist had said that there weren't really many options, so I just toughed out the bit of discomfort.

Awesome inhaler and evil, evil pills.

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