Family

The weeks (months) leading up to the Christmas holidays continued to be really busy. We'd been really cramming at work, and I was also doing a lot of Drupal work (we had a big Documentation meeting/sprint weekend the weekend before holidays that people flew in for, and it's also been a big push getting the Drupal 7 docs done for its release which is coming up this week). I was definitely running on fumes. Thankfully we'd made the wise decision early on to shut down entirely at work for two weeks over the holidays, so we could all take a proper, well-deserved break. I went back to Saskatoon for a full week and a half, to have Christmas with my parents, and basically just do what Frankie says (ie. relax).

box chaos
Decorating the tree with my mom

So first, a little catch up from before my last posts... back in June, I went to Saskatoon for a weekend to go to the wedding of one of my next door neighbours from where I grew up. The Sulatyski family lived next door to me my entire Saskatoon-life (plus a couple years after I moved to Vancouver), and are like my second family... sometimes I feel like I grew up more Ukrainian than any other culture!

Me and the boys

You know life ain't half bad when...

it's this nice out today

---------

I went to LA last weekend to visit my cousins (this being the rescheduled trip from Christmas). The timing was actually perfect - one of my cousins just had his first kid a few weeks prior, and another is going to be moving to Oregon in a couple months (which is actually great, cause it's closer to me!)  I had such a nice visit with them, and just felt really happy and relaxed there.  Better than I'd felt in a long time. (Photos from LA)

From my twitter this morning: "intentions for the year to come: treat myself with the same kindness as i do those dearest to me. keep an open heart. laugh love breathe."

28
(If I look a little squinty it's cause of the crazy strong winds trying to knock me over...)

First things first--I just got a bunch of film from the past 2 years developed (including from the Gastown/Chinatown all film photowalk from earlier in the summer). A few shots here, and if you want to see the rest of them check it out the set on Flickr.

One of my favorites from the photowalk, and I'm not sure why

Went out to Launch Party tonight for a little bit, but just really flaked out pretty quickly and decided to head home after saying hi to everyone. Last day on antibiotics, yay! Hopefully the dreaded sinus infection is gone for good, I don't think I can take any more of it!

Get yourself a cup of tea and tuck in, this is a long one...

Where to begin.  This one's been cooking on the back burner for about six weeks.  Or maybe my whole life.  You think writing about my trials and tribulations with IBS or self-doubt are hard?  Well writing about my relationships with friends and family is so much harder.  When writing about health stuff, emotional stuff, I only really risk hurting myself.  When writing about relationships, I risk hurting other people.  And anyone who knows me knows that is the last thing I would want to do.

I don't honestly know if I'll ever be brave enough to really write specifically about these sorts of things in such a public forum.  But I want to say things, because they've been occupying space in my thoughts and using up my energy, and I need to get them out of my head and out into the world.  I need to acknowledge them and then let them go, and hopefully find a way to move on.

I haven't been finding it terribly easy to write lately. There is so much to say, but I just don't know where to start, and most of it is probably stuff I shouldn't be telling you about anyway. But my mind is occupied by the burden of these thoughts, and I need to find a way to confront them, conquer them, and move on.

IMG_2225.JPG

My body hurts. My stomach hurts, my brain hurts, most of all my heart fucking hurts. Life goes on.

The last time I felt like this, I felt broken down in a different way. A tangible way. The heartbreaks and challenges were clear cut and easy to explain. But it's not like that this time. I don't know how to convey these heartbreaks and these fears so that they will mean something, so they'll make any sense.

Just got home from round one of the big day of crazy tests (as part of what is shaping up to be the month of crazy tests). Round 1: Vestibular (ENG) testing. Following the lights you see with crazy goggles on, followed by about 30 mins of having different temperatures of water shot into your ears while you can't see anything...apparently it makes you insanely dizzy--fun! *rolls eyes* At least the lady was really nice. I am now soggy eared and nauseous, and still a little dizzy.

Last Friday I got my neck xrays done, there are fun photos from that:

Waiting for xrays in the cubicle, am very impressed as you can see...

Well, as you can see, I haven't been blogging much lately...so, here goes a fairly random update. First, in news, for anyone who didn't catch this, Jules is engaged! Congrats Jules!!! Her and Aaron are going to be getting married next September in Manitoba.

IMG_1945

In October, I took my first week off since I started working in March, and went down to Santa Monica. Spent the week bonding with my cousins who I hadn't seen in waaaay too long.

Palmtree and birds

I almost didn't make it south of the border yesterday... it was like a scene from a movie when someone has a plane to catch and everything goes wrong. There was actual running from the wrong wing of the airport where I'd stood in line for 20 mins. to find out I was late enough that my bags might not make it, to the right wing of the airport where the bitchy Air Canada lady put a tag with an L on my bags (L is for late), and told me that if I hadn't checked in online the night before they would have given up my seat. At this point, I was checking through 55mins prior to my flight. Seriously, I know I was late, but I'm sure there are way later people! Anyhow, I made it to LA, bags and all!

Cousinas :-)

Pages

Subscribe to Family